Sunday, August 12, 2007

Marriage and age difference

I just heard that a childhood friend and neighbor of mine was engaged to a guy I don't know. It's been a loooong time since I last saw her or even thought of her. What caught my attention was the fact that her fiance' is 20 YEARS OLDER THAN SHE IS!!!
I really wonder sometimes, how do people actually do this? it's not as if they knew each other for a long time and that they love each other to the point that they feel this difference isn't gonna affect them. I mean come on, you don't know this person, and there's a 20 year difference between you in EVERYTHING!! Oh well, I just wonder.
In my humble opinion, in the best situation, a man would be 3~7 years older than his wife. I know this is a very wide generalization, a lot of people are very happily married to people 15 years younger or older than thet are, and I know people who are very happy with their older wives. This is perfectly normal as no 2 people are alike, but in the "default setting" I suggest a difference of 3~7 years, the man being older.
What do you think?


Maya said...

I'm not sure but in my opinion ..age difference its really danger thing both of them will gotta a
different personality she wanna live her life (her age)which its over for him since 20 years ago ! so he'll looks like he's in troulble with unmature wife for me 100% she's mature and she wanna life her life as other girls in her age and she'll never accept this new rules in her life.
maybe this wife will accept this new life but with the pain
heat,tears about her life !
its difficult equation
I heard alot about those kind of marrige which simply end with divorce !
Maybe your childhood friend 'll deal with this and she's already agree with it
en sha Allah kheir
its really nice subject
fe aman Allah

Hibo said...

عندي تعليق صغيرون...علي الموضوع من موقف صار مع صاحبتي

جاها عريس عمره 48 سنة تقريبا وهي عمرها 30 سنة هدا قبل ماتخش لل31 سنة زيني المهم
فرق واضح بيناتهم...
فجاها راجل اختها قاللها..نصيحة
حرام تتزوجيه بس لأنه كبير وعاقل ومتزن قاللها في فرق بيناتكم كبير في التفكير وفي طريقة المعيشة وقاللها هو راجل طبير منظم يتشغل علي روحه فيبي يرقد بكري وانتي تبي تسهري تتفرجي علي التلفزيون .قاللها تبي تطلعي وتدهوري وتتمشي وتجري وهو يادوب يقدر يكمل لاخر الزنقة قدام الحوش..
قاللها ...انتي تبي تاكلي وتتفرهدي وهو ياعنده السكر أو الضغط فبتحكمك حالته الصحية

هذا غير ...إنه يخدم 24 ساعة ومرات ماتشوفيشي للساعة 10 يروح تاعب يخش يرقد وتم.........!!؟

مأساة الناس الي تفكر بهالطريقة انهم متصورين روحهم صح...
البنت عمرها 19 سنة وهو عمره 35 سنة

وبمجرد مايوصل لل40 يقعد يشوف لغيرها ويقول هم ونكد وصغار ودوشة...شنو هذا؟؟

وهي تنذم انها تزوجت من الأساس..

rachel said...


I am currently a student at the University of Vermont in the United States. Right now I am enrolled in a class called "Gender in the Middle East." I am working on a project that requires me to blog with a man and woman from the Middle East.
I found this particular post very interesting, for we have discussed marriage in our class--touching on the "norms" of marriage in the middle east, and what both men and women expect. We recently watched a movie in which young men and women revealed who they found suitable for marriage.
On that note, it appears that your friend must live in Benghazi. I was wondering if this was an arranged marriage, due to the age difference and the fact that you said they didn't know eachother long. Are arranged marriages very common there today, and do most women have a say in who they marry?
I agree with you with the age difference; 20 years is quite a gap! With that said, I wanted to know who young men and women find to be the most appealing and suitable for marriage in your area. Thanks!